When I created a company to handle my corporate speaking engagements, I named it Attitude Is Altitude because without a positive attitude I never would have been able to rise above my disabilities and reach so many people.
You may be tempted to scoff at the concept of "attitude adjustment" because it has become such a staple of motivational posters and coaching materials. But there is real power in controlling your attitude, adjusting it to counter moods and stop behaviors that may threaten your ability to live without limits. The psychologist and philosopher William James, who taught at Harvard University, said that one of the greatest discoveries of his generation was the realization that by changing our attitudes, we can change our lives.
Whether you are aware of it or not, you view the world through your own unique perspectives or attitudes based on your beliefs of what is good or bad, wrong or right, fair or unfair. Your decisions and actions are based on those attitudes, so if what you've been doing isn't working, you have the power to adjust your attitude and change your life.
Think of your attitude as the remote control for your television set. If the program you are watching doesn't do anything for you, then you simply grab the remote and change it. You can adjust your attitude in much the same way when you aren't getting the results you want, no matter what challenges you encounter.
Linda, a music teacher, wrote and described how her amazing attitude helped her overcome a childhood accident that easily could have ruined her life. She was only halfway through grade school when she was severely injured in a car accident. Linda spent two and a half days in a coma, and when she regained consciousness, she could not walk, talk, or eat.
Although doctors feared she would be mentally impaired and never able to speak or walk normally, her mind, speech, and body gradually recovered. In fact, Linda's only remaining medical problem from the horrible accident is a damaged right eye that has only limited vision.
This woman suffered incredible pain, endured many operations, and still has impaired eyesight. She could easily feel victimized and bitter. You could hardly blame her for taking the attitude that life has treated her unfairly. Instead, this is the attitude she chose:
"Sometimes I am frustrated that my eyes don't work in perfect unity with each other," she wrote to me. "But then I remember where I came from and where I could be, and realize God saved me for a reason—to live as a witness to His work in my life. My eye is a reminder from God that I'm not perfect, but that's okay; I need to depend fully on Him for my strength. God chose to show His power through the weakness of my eye—though I am weak, He is strong."
Linda chose to accept her imperfect vision as part of God's "perfect plan for my life," she wrote. "He changed my attitude toward life—I know that mine may very well end at any moment, so I'm trying to live for Him all the time. Also, I try to always put a positive spin on everything, try to give my all to God and others, and truly care about the people around me."
Instead of focusing on her limited vision in one eye, Linda chooses to be grateful that she is able to think, speak, walk, and live a normal life in most ways. You and I have the ability to choose our attitudes just as she chose hers.
You don't have to be a saint to do that. When you experience a tragedy or a personal crisis, it's perfectly normal and probably healthy to go through stages of fear and anger and sadness, but at some point we all have to say: "I'm still here. Do I want to spend the rest of my life wallowing in misery, or do I want to rise above what has happened to me and pursue my dreams?"
Is it easy to do that? No, it is not. It takes great determination, not to mention a sense of purpose, hope, faith, and the belief that you have talents and skills to share. But Linda is just one example of many, many people who've shown what it's possible to overcome with a positive attitude. The age-old, time-proven, undeniable truth is that you and I may have absolutely no control over what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. If we choose the right attitude, we can rise above whatever challenges we face.
You likely will have no control over the next big bad bump in your life. A hurricane hits your house. A drunk driver crashes into your car. Your employer lays you off. Your significant other says, "I need space." We are all blindsided from time to time. Be sad, feel bad, but then pull yourself up and ask, What's next? Once you've whimpered awhile, vented, or shed all the tears in your tank, pull yourself together and make an attitude adjustment.
POWERING UP
You can change your attitude and change your life without taking a pill, seeing a shrink, or trekking to a mountaintop to consult a guru. So far in this book I've been encouraging you to find your purpose, to have hope for the future and faith in the possibilities for your life, and to love yourself as you are. Those attributes will give you a strong foundation and reason for optimism, which is the power source for adjusting your attitude, much like the batteries in your television remote control.
Have you ever known a successful, fulfilled, happy person who is also a pessimist? I haven't. That's because optimism is empowering—it gives you control over your emotions. Pessimism weakens your will and allows your moods to control your actions. With an optimistic outlook, you can adjust your attitude to make the best of bad situations. This is sometimes described as "reframing" because while you can't always change your circumstances, you can change the way you look at them.
At first, you may have to do this consciously, but once you practice it for a while, it becomes automatic. I am on tour constantly with my caregivers, and in the early days of my speaking career, when a flight was canceled or a connection missed, I had trouble controlling my anger and frustration. Finally I had to face the fact that when you travel as often as we do, there will be problems. Besides, I was getting too old to throw tantrums, and they sort of lose their effectiveness when you can't really stomp your feet.
I had to master the ability to adjust my attitude about travel interruptions. Now when we are forced to sit for hours in airports or need to abruptly change plans, I avoid stress, frustration, and anger by focusing on a positive interpretation of the negative event. I fire up optimistic thoughts such as: Our flight was delayed because of bad weather. That's good, because we'll have a safer trip if we wait out the storm.
Or: They canceled our flight because of mechanical problems. I'd rather wait here on the ground for a good plane than be up in the air in a bad one.
I'd still rather have a smooth trip than a bumpy one, but the alternative to adjusting my attitude was to dwell on the negative, and that's just not healthy. When you allow circumstances beyond your control to determine your attitude and actions, you risk plunging into a downward spiral of hasty decisions and faulty judgments, to overreacting, giving up too soon, and missing those opportunities that always—always—appear just when you think life will never get better.
Pessimism and negativity will ensure that you never rise above your circumstances. When you feel your blood boiling due to negative thoughts, tune them out and replace them with more positive and encouraging inner dialogue. Here are examples of negative versus positive thinking to help you monitor your own inner voices.
A HEALING ATTITUDE
My friend Chuck, who is forty years old, learned last year that the cancer he'd fought off twice while in his twenties had reappeared. This time the tumor was so wrapped around vital organs that doctors could not go after it with radiation. The prognosis did not look good—in fact, he was in serious trouble. As a husband and father with a huge circle of family and friends, Chuck had purpose. He also had hope, faith, and self-love working for him. So he adopted the attitude that he was not about to die. In fact, he took on the attitude that while there was sickness inside him, he was not a sick person. He was determined to remain upbeat and positive and focused on moving ahead with his life.
At this point, no one would have described Chuck as a lucky guy, right? Yet the very fact that radiation was not an option turned out to be good luck. You see, Chuck's doctors in St. Louis were taking part in a testing program for an experimental cancer drug that does not use radiation. Instead, this drug targets inpidual cancer cells and kills them. Since traditional treatments were not suitable for Chuck's tumor, he was eligible for the experimental treatments, but what convinced doctors that he should be in the program was his positive attitude. They knew he would make the most of this opportunity, and he did.
While the experimental cancer drug was being injected in his system through an IV tube, Chuck didn't take it lying down. Instead, he ran on a treadmill. He lifted weights. His attitude was so positive and his energy so high, Chuck had trouble convincing some of the hospital staff that he really belonged on the cancer treatment floor. "You just don't look or act like our normal patient," they said.
A few weeks after receiving his experimental treatments, Chuck met with his doctor. The doctor told him that something strange had happened. "I can't find any sign of the tumor," he said. "It's gone."
Doctors couldn't say whether it was the experimental drug, or Chuck's attitude, or a miracle, or a combination of all three that defeated the tumor. All I can tell you is that Chuck walked out of that hospital free of cancer and strong as a bull. Despite all indications that he was facing death, he chose a positive attitude and focused not on being sick but on his purpose, on hope, on faith, and on the conviction that he could be of benefit to others.
PICK A'TUDE
Notice that Chuck and Linda both chose attitudes that allowed them to rise above difficult circumstances, but they chose slightly different types of attitudes. Linda chose to be grateful rather than bitter. Chuck chose to take action rather than giving up. There are many attitudes to choose from, but I believe the most powerful are:
1. An attitude of gratitude
2.An attitude of action
3. An attitude of empathy
4. An attitude of forgiveness
1. An Attitude of Gratitude
This is the attitude that Linda unleashed to deal with her injuries from the auto crash. Instead of mourning what she'd lost, she expressed gratitude for what she'd recovered and the life she'd built. I'm a big believer in the power of gratitude. In my speaking I often refer to my little left foot. I do that to put my audiences at ease because they can see my unusual appendage. I joke about it, but I have learned to be very grateful for it. I use it to control my wheelchair joystick, to type on a computer at more than forty words a minute, to play music on my keyboards and digital drum set, and to operate all the applications on my cell phone.
The attitude of gratitude also attracts people who share your enthusiasm and support your dreams. Sometimes these people have the power to inspire you and to change your life in amazing ways. My mum often read to me as a child, and one of my favorite books was The God I Love. I was about six years old when she first read it to me. At that time I didn't know of any other person born without arms and legs. I had no role models who looked like me and had the same challenges. This book, which I still think of often, inspired me and helped build the foundation for an attitude of gratitude because it was written by Joni Eareckson Tada.
Joni (pronounced Johnny) was an athletic seventeen-year-old swimmer and equestrian from Maryland who was just a few weeks away from her first semester of college when she broke her neck while ping into a lake. She was paralyzed from the neck down in that 1967 accident. In her book she wrote about her initial despair and thoughts of suicide because of her paralysis, but eventually she came to believe that "it wasn't some flip of the coin in the cosmos, some turn in the universe's roulette wheel. It was part of God's plan for me."
I loved that book, and then my mum bought a CD of Joni's songs, which were the first I'd ever heard with lyrics about how "we've all got wheels" and how much fun you could have in a wheelchair and how "nobody's perfect." I played those tapes over and over as a child in Australia, and I still catch myself humming them today. You can imagine how amazing it was when I was invited to meet Joni for the first time.
I was visiting the United States in 2003 to speak at a church in California. After my talk a young woman who worked for Joni introduced herself and invited me to come to the headquarters for her charitable organization, Joni and Friends, in Agoura Hills.
During my visit I was star-struck when she came into the room. She leaned in to give me a hug, and we had this great moment. Joni doesn't have much body strength because of her quadriplegia, so when she leaned in to me she had trouble pulling her body back into her wheelchair. Instinctively, I used my body to give her a gentle push backward into her chair.
"You're very strong!" she said.
I was thrilled to hear that, of course. This amazing woman who had given me strength and faith and hope as a child was telling me that I was strong. Joni shared that, like me, she struggled with her disability at first. She considered driving her wheelchair off a high bridge but worried that she would only injure her brain and make her life even more miserable. Finally, she prayed, God, if I can't die, show me how to live.
Shortly after that accident, a friend gave Joni a copy of a Bible verse that says, "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God and Christ Jesus concerning you." Joni was not deeply religious at the time. She was still angry and frustrated over her paralysis and she wasn't buying that message.
"You can't be serious," Joni said. "I don't feel thankful for this. No way."
Her friend told her that she didn't have to feel thankful for being paralyzed. All she had to do was to take a leap of faith and give thanks for the blessings to come.
It was hard for Joni to buy into that concept. At that point she felt like a victim, and that's what she called herself, "a victim of a terrible ping accident." At first she blamed everyone but herself for her quadriplegia, and she wanted everyone to pay. She sued. She demanded. She even blamed her parents for bringing her into a world in which she could become paralyzed.
Joni felt the world owed her something because she'd lost the use of her arms and legs. She eventually came to realize that victim-hood is an easy place to hide. We can all claim to be the victims of one misfortune or another. Some people feel like victims because they were born into poverty. Others claim to be victims because their parents are porced, or they have poor health, or bad jobs, or they aren't as thin or as tall or as beautiful as they want to be.
When we feel entitled to the good in life, we feel robbed and outraged when something happens to make us uncomfortable. We then look to blame others and demand that they pay for our discomfort, whatever it might be. In a self-centered state of mind, we become professional victims. Yet pity parties are the most tedious, unproductive, and unrewarding events you could ever attend. You can only listen to "Poor, Poor Pitiful Me" so many times before you want to tear your hair out and run for cover.
Like Joni, you should reject the victim role because there is no future in it. She says that suffering brings us to a fork in the road, and we can choose the downward path to despair or we can take the hopeful path up the hill by adopting an attitude of gratitude. You may find it difficult at first to be grateful, but if you just decide not to be a victim and take it day by day, strength will come. If you can't find any aspect of your situation to be grateful for, then focus on good days ahead and express gratitude in advance. This will help build a sense of optimism while getting your mind off the past and looking toward the future.
"I realized that the path away from self-destruction was traced somewhere in the pages of the Bible; and it didn't take long to discover that well-worn truth: 『Take one day at a time in the strength of God and you will become more than a conqueror,' " Joni told me.
Joni discovered that playing the victim only dragged her down further than her paralysis had taken her, but being thankful for the blessings you have and the blessings to come raises you up. That attitude can change your life just as it has changed Joni's and mine. Instead of being angry and resentful over our disabilities, we've built joyful and fulfi lling lives.
An attitude of gratitude truly changed her life, and she in turn helped change my life and the lives of so many others who have been helped by her best-selling inspirational books and DVDs. Her Joni and Friends nonprofit organization operates Wheels for the World, a program that has distributed more than sixty thousand free wheelchairs, not to mention thousands of crutches, canes, and walkers, to disabled people in 102 countries.
Joni is a quadriplegic. I have no arms and no legs. Yet we each found a purpose and pursued it. We embraced hope over despair. We put our faith in God and the future. We accepted that we are imperfect human beings with blessings of value. We chose positive attitudes fueled with gratitude, and we put them into action to change our lives and the lives of others.
That's not a poster—it's the truth. By choosing an attitude of gratitude over one of victimhood or bitterness or despair, you too can overcome whatever challenges you face. But if you find gratitude hard to come by, there are other approaches that might work for you.
2. An Attitude of Action
Tabitha has disabilities similar to mine, yet she wrote, "I've always felt blessed and because of this I needed to give back to the universe." Her attitude of action led her and her family to start their own mission to create "goody bags" for children with major illnesses and disabilities and for those living in homeless shelters.
Sometimes the best method you'll find for moving your life out of a rut or over an obstacle is to make life better for yourself or for others. Socrates said, "Let him that would move the world, move himself first." When it seems like you can't catch a break, try creating your own. When you've been hit and knocked down by an overwhelming loss or tragedy, allow yourself time to grieve, and then act to create some good out of the bad.
Adopting an attitude of action creates positive momentum. The first steps are the hardest, no doubt about it. Just getting up out of bed may seem impossible at first, but once you are up, you can move forward, and as long as you are moving forward, you are on a path away from the past and toward the future. Go with that. Move ahead step by step. If you've lost someone or something, help someone else or build something else to serve as a memorial and tribute.
One of the most devastating experiences is the loss of a loved one. Losing a family member or a friend triggers grief that can cripple us. Other than perhaps being glad for having loved them and known them and had time with them, there is little to be grateful for in such situations. Nothing prepares us for the grief that can overwhelm and even paralyze us. Still, some take action so that their terrible loss becomes a force for good. A well-known example is Candy Lightner, who channeled her anger and anguish into action after her thirteen-year-old daughter was killed by a drunk driver. She founded Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), which undoubtedly has saved many lives through its activism and education programs.
When tragedies strike us or those we love, the temptation is to go off somewhere and cry, hoping that eventually the heartbreak will ease one day. Yet many people like Tabitha, Joni Eareckson Tada, and Candy Lightner have taken attitudes of action. They believe that even the worst tragedy in their lives can provide opportunities for good deeds. An incredible example of this sort of person is Carson Leslie in Dallas. He was sixteen years old when I met him, but he had been battling cancer for two years already. This young star athlete with a brilliant smile, whose dream had been to play shortstop for the New York Yankees, was just fourteen when he was diagnosed with a brain tumor that had spread to his spine. He underwent surgeries, radiation, and chemotherapy. His cancer went into remission. Then it came back.
Through it all Carson did his best to be a normal kid, living a normal life. He often spoke of his favorite Bible verse, which someone had given him just after he was diagnosed. It's Joshua 1:9: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Carson was quick to say that this Bible verse was not his "cancer verse" but his "life verse."
"No matter how long I live, I want this verse on my tombstone. And when people visit my grave, I want them to read the verse and think about how it got me through my struggles in life, and I hope others will see that this verse can offer them the same kind of comfort it gives me," Carson wrote in his book, Carry Me.
This incredibly brave boy wrote the book with his English teacher to "give a voice to the teenagers and children who have cancer but are unable to express how such an illness affects their personal, social, physical and emotional life." Carson died on January 12, 2010, just as his book was being released. Proceeds go to the Carson Leslie Foundation in support of pediatric cancer research.
How unselfish this young man was. Though he was sick and weary, he spent his final days working on a book to encourage and benefit others. I love too that the final words in his book are these: "None of us know what life has in store . . . but it's easy to have courage when you know the courage comes from God."
I met Carson through Dallas jeweler Bill Noble, a man of deep faith who has often invited me to speak to his church congregation and other groups. Bill's children went to school with Carson, and he brought us together. He called us both "generals in the Kingdom of God."
Aside from teasing me about being "disarming," Bill often stresses the importance of leaving a legacy and making every second count just as Carson did, even at such a young age. Bill used to tell Carson something he'd also told me many times. "God does not define man by his earthly body. As it says in John 6:63: 『The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life.' "
3. An Attitude of Empathy
If an attitude of action seems beyond your ability, there is yet another option, one that comes from the heart. As I grew more mature and my range of experience expanded, I realized that one of the key factors leading to my thoughts of suicide as a boy was the fact that I was terribly self-centered. I actually believed that no one suffered the emotional pain and physical frustration that I did. My focus was entirely on my own circumstances.
My attitude improved considerably when I grew up a little and realized that many have challenges equal to and greater than my own. When I acknowledged that, I began to reach out to offer encouragement to others with far more empathy. The young daughter of a family friend provided me with a very moving display of empathy on a visit to Australia in 2009. I'd never met the girl, who was only two and a half years old. They'd brought her to a party, and for the longest time she kept her distance, studying me from afar as small children often do. Then, as her parents were preparing to leave, I asked this beautiful child if she wanted to give me a hug.
She smiled and cautiously stepped toward me. Just as she came close enough, she stopped, looked me in the eye, and slowly folded her arms behind her back as if to show solidarity with my lack of limbs. Then she inched forward a little more and placed her head on my shoulder, hugging me with her neck just as she'd seen me hug others. Everyone in the room was struck by this little girl's incredible display of empathy for me. I've been hugged many times, but I can honestly say I'll never forget that hug, because this tiny child obviously has an amazing gift for relating to the feelings of others. Empathy is a great gift. I encourage you to practice and share it at every opportunity because it heals those who give, as well as those who receive. When you are confronted with hard times, tragedies, or challenges, instead of looking inward, look to those around you. Instead of feeling wounded and seeking pity, find someone with greater wounds and help them heal. Understand that your grief or pain is legitimate, but suffering is part of the human condition, and reaching out to someone else is a way of healing yourself while helping others heal too.
My friend Gabe Murfitt understands this as well as anybody I know. We met when I spoke at the Gather4Him fundraising dinner in Richland, Washington, in 2009. Gabe was born with malformed legs and arms that are just three inches long. His thumbs have no bones in them, and he has a hearing impairment. Somehow, he still manages to be extremely active, playing baseball, basketball, and hockey, jumping rope, and banging away on the drums, among other things.
Gabe, who grew up near Seattle, has an indomitable spirit as well as great empathy. Now a college student at Washington State University, he began playing Little League baseball at the age of six. He once climbed Mount Rainier with a group of friends and family members supporting him. Though he had his own challenges in high school, he began reaching out to other students to inspire them by giving his "CLEAR" speeches on courage, leadership, excellence, attitude, and respect. He and his family created a nonprofit organization to help others with disabilities. Gabriel's Foundation of HOPE (http://www.GabesHope.org) provides scholarships and grants as well as encouragement as a result of Gabe's amazing empathy.
Do you see the power in Gabe's attitude of empathy? He took the focus off his challenge and reached out to others. He transformed the challenge of his disabilities into a mission of empathy, enriching his life and those of countless others.
I often am amazed at the way people react to me when I journey into regions of stark poverty and great suffering. I always find men, women, and children who have incredible compassion. Not long ago I was in Cambodia, rushing to get back to my hotel after a long meeting in stifling heat and humidity that made me feel faint. I just wanted to take a shower and sleep for a day or two in an air-conditioned room.
"Nick, before we go, would you mind speaking with this child?" my host said. "He has been waiting outside for you all day."
The boy, smaller than me, was alone, sitting in the dirt. Flies swarmed about him in such numbers that they formed a dark cloud. He had a gaping and deep wound or sore on his head. One of his eyes appeared to be popping out. He smelled of decay and filth. Yet there was such compassion in his eyes, so much love and sympathy—for me—that this child put me completely at ease.
He walked up close to me in my stroller chair and gently put his head against my cheek, trying to soothe me. This boy looked as though he hadn't eaten for days. He appeared to be an orphan who'd suffered greatly. Yet he wanted to express his empathy for what he imagined was my suffering. I was so touched by him that tears flowed.
I asked our hosts if there was anything we could do for this boy, and they promised me that they would see that he was fed, cared for, and given a place to sleep, but after thanking him and returning to our vehicle, I honestly could not stop crying. I could not think straight for the rest of the day. I could not get over the fact that here was this boy whom I'd felt sorry for, but he wasn't focused on his suffering. Instead, he had compassion for me.
I don't know what that child had gone through or how difficult his life was. But I can tell you this: his attitude was amazing because despite all his problems, he still had the ability to reach out and comfort others. What a gift to have such empathy and compassion!
When you feel victimized or self-pitying, I encourage you to adjust your attitude to one of empathy. Reach out to someone else in need. Offer a hand. Volunteer at a shelter. Serve as a guide or a mentor. Use your grief or anger or hurt to help you better understand and ease the pain of someone else.
4. An Attitude of Forgiveness
The fourth attitude you should consider when looking to increase your altitude is an attitude of forgiveness. This may be the best of all, yet it is also the most difficult to learn. Believe me, I know. As I've told you, for a time in my childhood I could not forgive God for what seemed a gross mistake, my lack of limbs. I was angry and in full blame mode. Forgiveness was not on my screen.
Like me, you will have to go through a period of anger and resentment to get to forgiveness. That's natural, but you don't want to hang on to those emotions too long because after a while you only hurt yourself by allowing them to boil within your heart.
Anger was not designed to be an around-the-clock emotion. Like your car, your body breaks down if you keep the engine racing too long. Medical research has shown that harboring anger and resentment for long periods causes physical and psychological stress that weakens your immune system and breaks down your vital organs. And there's another problem with the blame game. As long as my lack of arms and legs was someone else's fault, I didn't have to take responsibility for my own future. Once I made a conscious decision to forgive God and my doctors and move on with my life, I felt better physically and emotionally, and I felt my time had come to take responsibility for the rest of my life.
An attitude of forgiveness set me free. You see, when you hold on to old hurts, you only give power and control to those who hurt you, but when you forgive them, you cut the ties to them. They can no longer yank on your chain. Don't get hung up on thinking that by forgiving them you are doing them a favor; if nothing else, do it for yourself.
I forgave all of those kids who mocked and teased me. I didn't forgive them to absolve them of guilt. I forgave them to unburden myself of anger and resentment. I like myself. I wanted me to be free.
So don't worry about what your forgiveness does for the antagonizers and hurtful people in your past. Just enjoy what forgiving them does for you. Once you've adopted an attitude of forgiveness, you'll lighten your load so that you can chase your dreams without being weighed down by baggage from the past.
The power in forgiveness goes beyond healing yourself. When Nelson Mandela forgave those who imprisoned him for twenty-seven years, the power of his attitude changed an entire nation and had a ripple effect around the world.
This power was unleashed on a smaller scale in the former Soviet Union. When I was in Ukraine, I met a pastor who'd moved his family to Russia to start a church in an area plagued by violence. As word of the pastor's plans spread around town, gangsters issued threats toward him and his five sons, so the pastor prayed.
"God told me that I would pay a steep cost for planting my church there, but that something amazing would result too," he said.
Despite the threats, the pastor established his church. At first few people came to his services. Then, just a week after the pastor opened the doors, one of his sons was murdered on the street. The grieving pastor prayed again, asking for God's guidance. God told him to stay with his church. Three months after his son's death, the pastor himself was stopped on the street by a scary-looking guy who said, "Would you like to meet the person who killed your son?"
"No," said the pastor.
"Are you sure?" the man said. "What if he asked your forgiveness?"
"I've already forgiven him," the pastor said.
"I shot your son," the man said, breaking down. "And I want to join your church."
In the weeks that followed, so many other members of the Russian mob joined the pastor's church that crime all but disappeared in the area. That is the power of forgiveness. When you have a forgiving attitude, you put into motion all sorts of amazing energy. And remember, this attitude allows you also to forgive yourself. As a Christian, I know that God forgives those who seek his favor, but too often we refuse to forgive ourselves for past mistakes, wrong turns, and abandoned dreams.
Self-forgiveness is just as important as forgiving others. I've made mistakes. So have you. We've treated people badly. We've judged them unfairly. We all mess up. The key is to step back, admit you've fallen short, apologize to the injured parties, make a promise to do better, forgive yourself, and move forward.
Now that's an attitude you can live with!
The Bible tells us that we reap what we sow. If you are bitter, angry, self-pitying, and unforgiving, what do you think those attitudes will get you? What joy is there in a life like that? So reject those dark and pessimistic moods, load up on optimism, and charge up an attitude of gratitude, an attitude of action, an attitude of empathy, or an attitude of forgiveness.
I have experienced the power of changing my attitude, and I can tell you that it changed my life, taking me to heights I never imagined. It can do the same for you!